Men, what can we do, along with our wives, to ensure that our marriage will last? A key principle that should be in force before the marriages begins, and is the first and most important issue, is one of obedience to God and His Word. This is vital for you that are single. God asked in (Amos 3:3), “Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?”
For the born-again believer, this means not beginning a close relationship with anyone who is not also a believer. (2 Corinthians 6:14) “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” It would save a lot of heartache and suffering later in marriages, if this one principle were followed. Men, another principle that would protect the longevity of our marriage is that we as men should obey God, love, honor, and protect our wife as we would our own body as stated in (Ephesians 5:25–31) “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies.
For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church.” As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.”The corresponding principle is that the wife should obey God and submit to her own husband “as to the Lord” as stated just a couple verses before Ehp. 25 in (Ephesians 5:22).
The marriage between a man and a woman is a picture of the relationship between Christ and the church. Christ gave Himself for the church, and He loves, honors, and protects her as His “bride” (Revelation 19:7–9) “Let us be glad and rejoice, and let us give honor to him. For the time has come for the wedding feast of the Lamb, and his bride has prepared herself.”
Let me give you a few practical ways of building on the foundation of a godly marriage, that many couples have found helpful in making their marriages last:
1. Spending quality time together
2. Saying, “I love you” often
3. Being kind
4. Showing affection
5. Offering compliments
6. Going on dates
7. Writing notes
8. Giving gifts
9. And being ready to forgive
Learn what your love languages are and those of your wife. To help you with this I suggest you look up The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. In these actions are encompassed by the Bible’s instructions to husbands and wives.In the very first marriage, when God brought Eve to Adam, she was built from his “flesh and bone” (Genesis 2:21) and they became “one flesh” (Genesis 2:23–24).
In another show that I do with my wife Christine, The Malachi and Christine Show, we talk about “Becoming One” and how becoming one flesh means more than just a physical union. It means a meeting of the mind and soul to form one unit. This relationship goes far beyond sensual or emotional attraction and into the realm of spiritual “oneness” that can only be found as both partners surrender to God and each other. This relationship is not centered on “my and me” but on “our and us.” This is a vital key in the secrets to a long lasting marriage.Listen to me closely men, if there is anything that I have learned in my life about making a marriage last for a lifetime, it is something that both partners have to make a priority.
You will find that couples whose marriages last, celebrate their commitment to each other. My parents just celebrated 62 years of marriage. Even in anger, many couples make it a point not to even speak of divorce. Solidifying one’s vertical relationship with God goes a long way toward ensuring the horizontal relationship between a husband and wife is a relationship that is lasting, and one God honors.
When you and your wife desire a marriage to last you both must learn how to deal with problems. And the best ways to do this is with prayer, Bible study, and mutual encouragement. And let me add that there is nothing wrong with seeking outside help; in fact, one of the purposes of the church, as written in (Hebrews 10:24), is to “spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” If you are struggling, seek advice from an older Christian couple, a pastor, or a biblical marriage counselor.
Today’s Man, if you want your marriage and relationship to last, learn all you can about how to love you wife in ways that only God can teach you.